Who am I?

Who am I?

I’m the boy who lives with fears

Those constant, incessant compressions.

I’m the boy that would sit in the corner

Wondering if the gremlins would beat me this time.

I’m the boy who had all the ideas

Yet no one wanted to hear their bursting concepts.

People always talk about how great their other friends are,

Yet they don’t seem to have time for me.

I’m the boy that helps people,

yet people look the other way.

I’m the boy who wants to belong,

Yet I’m never welcomed.

When I get close,

I just push away.

I’m the boy who laughs,

But laughs most at reflections.

I’m the boy who is afraid of being alone.

I’m in pain yet no one saw through my joy.

I’m the boy who vanished in the fog

That soft echo heard on a chilly night.

I’m the boy who’s loved and lost,

Perhaps I should cross out the former?

I’m the boy who pushed those who cared away,

They didn’t know how worthless I am.

‘Twas for their own good.

I’m the boy who dances with fog,

Its fuzzy cool mist blankets my skin.

My eyes are dim of hope,

All ambition washed away.

I’m the boy that hangs with the lofts

Just to feel high.

I’m the boy who hears his name,

Only to imagine a blank face.

I’ve thrown dreams into the chasm

I’ve given up on reality.

The only face I have are the thousands manufactured,

Created in some odd box of fairytales.

Who am I?

Your guess is as good as mine.

Where did I run off to?

My shadow is all that remains.

This fog holds me through a clammy wrapping

My senses false and ideals fabricated.

No body was true,

And nothing tangible was permitted.

Yet that magic box holds a ball of light,

Something only told in legends;

Suppressed through the comforting fog.

I’m the thing who smashed this magic,

It looked at me funny.

That light hovers over my hand now…..

I’m the thing who held this brilliance

Knowing not what any of it meant.

Casting it off in some direction,

This ball still trailed me.

It neither spoke, waved, nor laughed.

I once thought it imaginary.

The fog had reassured me so.

I’m the thing who sighed,

Never to see other’s joy.

I’m the one who descended into the fog,

That light growing dimmer with each inch.

It too felt the comforting burden of this soggy veil.

Soon it began to flicker

Its light only touching my fingertips.

So I am the guy who asked,

Who are you?

A flare was its response,

Burning away my skin.

Burning away the fog.

Enraging my entire being.

Yet its first whisper reassuring

“The burn will teach you.”

Again, I’m the guy who asked

Who are you?

The fog no longer clouded my vision,

Dissipating in fear and malice.

That burning sensation lighting the way

My path no longer obscured.

I’m the guy who asked

Who cares that I don’t get noticed?

So what if I end up alone?

There is no end until I say there is.

I’m the guy who is a passing mention.

That cool echo on the wind.

I’m the resolving whisper in your head

That last gasp of breath,

And I am thankful for every moment of it.

I’m the guy whose prayers remained unanswered

To understand this paradoxical world.

So instead, I chose to create those answers.

There lies no chance in surrender.

I’m the guy who got sick of the pity game.

Forcing my way towards a better tomorrow.

And if there will be no one beside me?

So be it.

I’m the guy who’s been alone his whole life,

And its only fueled me forward.

We all have dead people,

And that is no reason to drag others down along the way.

I’m the guy who said

Why is time so hard to find?

When that time was there all along.

Those dreams I threw away months ago.

Came bursting back on eagle’s wings.

They weigh on my back like stone

But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

For one day, I will be strong enough to move.

And in time, fly free.